HONOUR THY PARENTS AND LIVE!

By commanding the humankind to increase and multiply in Genesis, God was invariably endorsing the union of man and woman for the begetting of children. One curious observation is that the rest of the living creatures God had made were also imbued with reproductive capacity, plants and animals alike; they even know greater increase than the humankind can even stand. Given this fact, what novelty is there in the great injunction of multiplicity and increase to humans in the creative order? The answer is a simple one: the mandate of dominion, one that entrusted the care of creation to the human species. Therefore, it was God’s plan from the onset to have the humankind steer the course of the great ship of created order to God’s end. God, however, remained the guiding star to which humankind, the sailor, should fix their gaze if home, God’s end, is their desired goal.

Given the great injunction of procreation, and the accompanying mandate of dominion, there comes with them the need for suitable institutions with which both the injunction and the mandate could see the light of day. Suffice it therefore to say that the minimum requirement for meeting the demand of Genesis on the humankind is the organization of the human society in such a way that those ends be met. And there are two basic facts that are revealing of the indispensability of this organization. Firstly, humans don’t live forever; our span is 70 and 80 for those who are strong (cfr Ps. 90:10). And this immediately calls to mind the all-important need for continuity if perpetuity is ever to be in sight. Secondly, the human young become what we make them as, intellectus in principio est sicut tabula rasa – the intellect is a blank slate at birth. And so the human young grows to assume the shape of his or her nurture-mould. Hence the institution called marriage, and the ensuing fact of the family.

Imagine the human race without the reality of marriage, which legitimizes the pairing of seemingly compatible and consenting mature males and females (not minding the current waves of gay marriage) for the purpose of mutual complementarity and procreation. And in the process the formation of the family, which is a platform for the initiation of the children that would come to society through their passage into functional and meaningful social life and the ensuring that they are imbued with requisite capabilities for independent existence with a view to continuous re-inventing the wheel of marriage and family.

And so, the great injunction of procreation and the standing mandate of dominion have been held sacrosanct by successive generations of the humankind, spanning from Adam to your parents – and you. The big question in this regard is: How has this succession been possible? The fourth commandment of the Decalogue, honour thy parents, has the answer.

Why honour thy parents? Four children attempting to answer this question could give as many as four different answers. One may simply say it’s because they gave birth to them. The second may say it’s because they are their providers – shelter, clothing, health, feeding, education, toys, etc. The third may probably say it’s because they are elderly and deserving of honour. And the fourth may simply say it’s because they wield the rod and wouldn’t spoil them by sparing it. Inasmuch as we cannot rightly say that any of them is more right than others, looking beyond the temporal to God’s divine plan and purpose would afford a richer understanding. And remember that it was God who commanded it in the first place – to the glory of his name and the betterment of human kind.

Therefore, the more appropriate reason why the honour of parents is imperative is so as to maintain and sustain the already established institution of family, within which children, under the guidance of their parents, acquire the requisite skills to function and sustain their place in the scheme of things. But this is not the same with plants and animals, although it tends to seem the case in the classes closer to the human species – but never the same!

The imperative to honor parents ensures the teacher-student and guidance-guided ideals that ought to exist in the parent-child relationship, without which on the attainment of primary reason the child might begin to arrogate to him/herself that which he/she cannot afford or sustain at the long –run. For instance, when a 14-year-old girl-child begins to arrogate the care of her sexuality to herself while just in JSS3, what becomes of her when her emotions fails her – as it usually does – and some crazy guy out there takes advantage of her, leaving her pregnant in the process? Who cleans up the mess? Who restores her back to order? Who makes her understand that what happened to her is one of those things that happen to self-willed teenagers? On whose shoulders would she lean on while rolling out all the tears she could afford on pondering the disgrace she has won for herself? But with the injunction of parental honor, the whole event would rarely have occurred should she has lent her ears to her parents’ instructions on how to carry on with her daily activities mindful of her sexuality.

It is very important to underscoring here that the conventional rendition of the fourth commandment of the Decalogue as simply parental obedience is grossly reductive. Obedience is only a component of honour. What do you then do with them when you outgrow their obedience – in the sense that they realize you have become your own man and no longer obligate you to do anything? At that point, have your parents outlived their usefulness? No. The word ‘honour’ is fatter than mere obedience; it is ‘great respect or esteem.’ This understanding will further obligate you to be all there for them in the latter days of their life when they start folding up for the great beyond; you help them ‘fold up’ for the hereafter as they helped you ‘open up’ for the here and now. It equally obligates you to treat even the mere memory of them with love, constantly blessing the womb that bore you, the breast that suckled you and the hands that provided for you.

Further, it is worth pointing out that the restriction of the concept of ‘parent’ to one’s father and mother is inappropriate. Christ holds a better teaching here – for he came to fulfill the law. On being asked who a neighbor was Jesus begins to render the well-known parable of the Good Samaritan. You would have expected him to tell you about the person next door, you seatmate in the commuter bus, your classmate, your church brethren, but he told the story of enmity, and enjoins his questioner to go and do the same. Who are your parents? Anyone who is capable of instructing you in the path of right, with a view to equipping you to respond appropriately to the great injunction and mandate of Genesis is your parent. Get used to it.

Now, spend some time thinking about why the fourth commandment of the Decalogue is the only one of them with a promise – longevity. And so I advice you, Honour thy parents and live!